Taste It

Dear Friends, 

I am just going to say it very straight. Some of you don’t like to think of me as a sexual person. Which is weird to say, because some of you know me as FabEs, this person who writes, teaches and is gay. The thing is a lot of people don’t like to think about that last one too much. Sure it’s something I have been for 20 years now, but I think some think he’s gay, that means he likes men. That’s the basis of it, but I think a lot you forget what that means, I also have and enjoy sex with men. Let that sink in for a moment.

With this one this might be an eye opening thing for many people. They never see me that way, and that's the point. You just see me as a person and not a sexual person or object. I am mainly directing this to many of gay people I have known over the years. Weird I have to call them out specifically, but I have to. Similarly, to some of the herosexual men I know, they forget this too. Why, I don’t know, simpler to not think about. Or it could be simple, the idea is too disgusting for them to think about. Can you let me know which one is less offensive because I'm not sure. 

Spoiler alert! If you've ever seen a gay porn, or that lovely little show about the two hockey players, I've done and do some of that activity. Why? Because I like it! Simple, is it not? Understood? Got me? Good!

Let me circle back to the gay guys I know. It is important because for about 22 maybe 23 years I have spoken to men, I’ve run into a number of these guys. A lot of the time they were what they seemed, while some didn't. Many of them are massive keyboard warriors, who act like seeing in the supermarket is a big shock. What is even more shocking to them when I say, hey! That really freaks them out. Yes, I am real, and that is forward. However, when I first spoke to them they were very quickly trying to get into my house and pants. In a socially acceptable situation it’s silence, weird that, but let me get back on track. When I see these guys on the site and apps I use to meet men, they act even more strange (hard to imagine, I know) when suddenly seeing what I’m into they’re like, you like this? Yes I do, and so do you, so what is the problem? I will tell you right now, the issue isn’t with me, it’s with them. I’m judging them, to me it's just a fun little tidbit I know about them. When it comes to me they think, eww. How rude. 

If this was all speculation on my part, I would stop here, or maybe think I am being paranoid. Sadly, as it is me I do have first hand experience why I am saying this. How can you be on a site that is about blow jobs and be surprised I’m there too? Then when I mention about getting sucked off, (or sucking off too btw) what comes back is a lol? What the fuck is that? Then asking why did you put that, “I didn’t know what to say” why? “Becuase I did think you were like that”. I had a similar conversation with someone else and did the same thing and when I asked, “I don’t think of you like that?” What do you mean? “I think of you as non sexual” Is that so? Why? “I don’t think about people I'm not attracted to like that” Oh I see because you’re not into them they don’t have sexual desires, and you’d rather nothing even consider it. Good got it. 

For my last example, there has been a person I have known practically my whole life. I found out about them being a homosexual around the same time when I was coming out, and since then we speak whenever we run into each other. We still have a lot of the same non sexual interests since we were kids, which is cool. In the last 5 or so years I’ve seen them on sites that go into kink. Surprising yes, judging no. Then when we spoke about them, he was embarrassed when I talked about a similar interest -I seriously don’t remember which one- They left me on read, and now ignore my messages. Did I say something alarming? I didn’t think so, I remember saying about doing this activity together -sauna?- nothing. All I do remember was me bouncing off their idea. They way I see they got embarrassed about us having the same desire, and it was easier to just ignore me, but not block me. Weird. 

What am I saying here? Well besides giving you some concrete examples of what I’ve been experiencing. I am mainly saying when you think about that friend, co-worker and other adults they may have sexual desires. If you find out about them, don’t be disgusted, or creeped out. Just know some people like things and allow people to do it with them. If you feel that you need to compartmentalise people as sexual and non sexual because you're not sexually attracted to them, don’t. Just realise that people have sexual needs and desires, all the various levels of degrees. I’m not saying you need to Amélie and wonder how many people are orgasming at the same time. Just remember people are people. Just respect their sexuality.

When it comes to me, I feel like if you’re paying attention you should have picked up on one or two things I’m into. Which is why I feel like a lot of my true friends know me, and know I am a person who has sex and enjoys it. While also, enjoying talking about it, hetero and homo by the way. We’re all people who like what we like. It doesn’t mean that as soon as they see me with a guy, they know we’re fucking. They know there is a chance, and they go, good for FabEs. And not, ew! 

Now for the curious, maybe look back at some of the things I have written in Gett Off to get an idea about the thing I've done, or into. Look at the sex category down below, to further your understanding of me. I do you one better, listen to the promo for this post again, that should clear things up. Your patents had to fuck for you to get here. Some else you don’t like to think about, but it happened (a lot more than once). But just remember that is just one side of a person. 

All I know is, I am going to continue to be me. If me talking about sex upsets you, makes you uncomfortable, or you don’t know how to act, you need to look at yourself and see why that is an issue for you. I’ve always been this way, and I will never shy away from it (thank you Miss Jones!) it’s up to you if you're going to accept me as a sexual being, or a need to put me in a box so you can handle me. Either way, I’m here, I’m queer, I suck dick, and I’m doin’ it, doin’ it and doin’ it well! 

Xo FabEs